I'm starting my new year's resolutions early. This year, I am going to get to my fitness goal. I will do whatever it takes, healthily, to get down to what medical professionals say is an "ideal" weight for me- about 130 pounds. I'm not sure, but I think that is a loss of over 50 pounds. My BMI needs to come down significantly. (as much as 15 points according to some calculators)
I've never been big on scales. I've always been heavy, and muscular, which has always meant that I weigh more than I look like I weigh. But tomorrow, I go to buy a scale. I am hoping that it will put it in my face that everyday, I need to make progress. No more excuses. No more "tomorrows" or "starting on Monday" or "I'll just have one".
Operation Skinny B*tch is now in session. Hold on, people. It's gonna be a heck of a ride.
I will do it. For all of these reasons (which are in no specific order whatsoever):
1. Because I refuse to be self conscious in my bikini when I move to LA.
2. Because I won't be known as "the one with the pretty face"
3. Because I won't have awkward "tight clothes" ruts on my skin.
4. Because I don't want any more size large clothes... and I need new ones
5. to be proud in the dressing rooms and locker rooms
6. Because I like the stares and compliments
7. to enjoy buying underwear and bras
8. to look fantastic in my dance clothes
9. to walk onto any store and be able to try things on
10. for better hugs
11. so my old friends double take when they see me coming
12. for my five year reunion
13. to not be lost in the gym
14. so the only thing that wiggles when I walk is behind me
15. to sit cross-legged in smaller chairs
16. because curves are beautiful
17. to never ever worry about my shirt riding up again
18. for my health
19. to be comfortable in child's pose
20. to never be out of breath at the top of the stairs
21. because I'm too beautiful to hide behind a layer of blubber
22. because that dress is perfect, and it is a shame for it to live in the closet
23. to never pinch those "chicken nuggets" again
24. to love being picked up
25. to take beautiful pictures, without worrying about how I'm standing
26. for the pure hedonistic pleasure of it
27. to not lie about my weight on my resume/ measurement sheets
28. For more energy
29. to stand next to my sisters and not feel three times their size
30. so I can wear short shorts and not yank them down every three steps
31. to avoid the doctor as much as possible
32. to be able to wrap my arms around my pulled up knees
33. to finally be where I planned to be 5 years ago
34. so all the hopes of " and it won't be long until I'm x size" will be over
35. So the boys will stare
36. to never worry about my belly being bigger than my boobs
37. to enjoy playing outside with my dad and brother
38. to outrun the zombies
39. Because the Doctor runs a lot
40. So I don't have to have knee replacement at 40
41. because I've grown up; time to shed my chrysalis
42. the less weight on a broomstick, the better
43. also, less likely to get splinched
44. to have to get remeasured in the costume departments
45. because I want to own a sweater dress
46. because this body is the only one I get
47. to inspire others
48. because this one thing, I will be completely in control of
49. To never go down the path of eating disorder again
50. to have the confidence to make the first move
51. So if I get selected for the Hunger Games, the odds will be ever in my favor.
52. to NEVER look like my gene pool, as much as I love them
53. to prove them all wrong
54. To never think "I'd have gotten that role if I wasn't fat" Ever. Again.
55. because a true triple threat has brains, brawn, and beauty.
56. because I'm finally done procrastinating
57. to work off the stress
58. to climb the rock wall
59. So I *have* to buy new clothes
60. so that I'll feel comfortable with (moderate) theatrical and cinematic nudity
61. to be deceptively strong, like my spirit
62. to always have the feeling of "I lost the weight. I can do this"
63. so I fit in his arms better, whomever he may be
64. so people use the phrase "coke bottle figure" when describing me, not "a little on the bigger side"
65. To be in the petite, not "curvy all over" section in the magazine fashion tips
66. to not always play the mothers
67. to "look" Musical Theatre
68. to never again bust out a seam. In anything.
69. To get rid of a pair of jeans for a reason other than a hole in the thigh.
70. more small clothes fit in suitcases than big clothes.
71. to be able to run one mile
72. Because my knees need this
73. because I'm tired of the excuse that my knees can't take it
74. to not be afraid to get on the scale at the doctor's
75. so my (future) tattoo will not get stretched
76. No. More. Control Top!
77. To never, ever, ever need surgery due to my weight.
78. So that no one will need to see past my my weight to find me attractive.
79. So that I'm never ashamed to be naked
80. to never have to sidle through narrow walkways
81. to never get chafed in the summer
82. to hear the phrase "Wow! What have you been doing?"
83. to make my brother proud of me.
84. to know my favorite outfit looks damn sexy when I wear it
85. because guys are more into fit women than "fat" ones. Genetic fact.
86. to be able to say "I'm little!" and not feel like a fraud
87. because my friends will be so impressed
88. so that first physical impressions will be just as impressive and memorable as when I start talking.
89. So that casting directors will try to seduce me.
90. for every insult, remark, and "suggestion"
91. because I'm strong, but you'd never know it.
92. because fitness is the most natural state for our bodies
93. to be another example of fit, healthy and beautiful instead of the model "before" picture
94. because it's more fun to cuddle
95. to need to get padded out, occasionally
96. because I'm tired of it literally weighing me down.
97. Because being lazy is disrespectful to my body
98. to look great in clothes
99. because I am worth the effort
100. because I am committed to self improvement in all areas this year.