Monday, October 3, 2011

attachment

Being attached to people is a funny thing, isn't it? Whoever thought up the meaning to the word "relationships" was some kind of sick masochist.

I don't often toot my own horn, but there are a couple of things I'm really very good at. One of them is forming attachments to people. Sometimes, I'm too good. I have a (shrinking) tendency to get clingy if I'm not careful. But overall, I can be the best relationship in a person's life.

But that's a double edged sword. Because every relationship has its pitfalls- and when its the best thing in your life, it has a strong tendency to become the worst, and to break your heart that much easier.

I hope, for each of you, that someday you meet the person that completes you. Or the people, I'm not picky. I have met at least one of mine, and let me tell you that my life has performed a complete 360 since we met. She's my sister, although we are biologically unrelated. But she's my Soul Sister. Our souls are attached in ways I don't think we even understand.

I was trying to explain that relationship to someone the other night, so here goes. Imagine that you were 85% blind. Your only sight was colorless, vague, fuzzy shadows and shapes. No color, no focus. This is all you've ever known, although you've heard others talk about things like a blue cloudless sky, or a rainbow, or the detail in a picture. Then, one day, the doctors say to you, "we can fix your sight. You'll be able to see, 100%" So you undergo the surgery, and oh, the things you can SEE! Colors! Shapes! Faces! Letters! Textures! So much to look at! Then, just as you've gotten to rely on your new sight, the doctors come back. "We're sorry", they say, "but this isn't gonna work" and they take your precious new sight back, leaving you more helpless than before, because ow oyu know what it is like to see perfectly.

When we're together with the person attached to our souls, we have new sight. Especially for me and my high levels of Empathic abilities, it is truly like getting my sixth sense back fully functioning. But then, next thing I know, it is being ripped away from me all over again, and that hurts. When we're right, the whole world is right. Everything makes sense. She's a part of me that was left gapingly empty. I'm convinced she was meant to be my twin, and when that didn't work, she was given to another family who needed her in their lives. And honestly, I think it has worked out better this way. When we found each other, we really needed each other. And it has worked out perfectly.

She flew home today. 3000 miles is a long way. It'll be ten months before I see her again, at least. My soul, though it feels hers still, is protesting the distance. They don't like to stretch that far, souls. That's why long distance relationships are so hard.

And now I have to stop typing before I start crying again. Melo-dramatic actress, coming through!

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